the sucky stuff sort of soaks into every damn part of it

I just spent a few minutes googling around to find the origin of "it's always darkest before the dawn." Can't find it. But in many cases, particularly with my menomania episodes, that does seem to be the case.

This has to have been the worst case of bonking I've experienced since starting the Celexa. I did not have the paranoia so much, or even the fatigue so much, as I had just overwhelming depression, anger spells, feelings of hopelessness, loss...it all came crashing down.

I also have injured my shoulder, which is hampering my abilities to completely immerse myself in Jazzercise, so it has removed somewhat my primary way to blow off steam and forget my worries.

I've been dragged kicking and screaming into a very large project. I have no control, am forced to handle a lot of correspondence for it, work with a lot of people, make a lot of decisions, and I am planning an event that is so hideous to me that I wouldn't even attend if I didn't have to.

I've exploded at a couple of unsuspecting people, and found myself sobbing over simple sentences in emails.

I thought, in a nutshell, that I was going around the bend. I was worried that this might not be just another cycle dip...another hormone anomaly, but perhaps could be a permanent condition for which I would have to take drastic action to mitigate.

But. It appears to be subsiding. After a good meeting with my doctor, a couple of good, thought-provoking conversations with some significant people in my life, and some prayer, I think I'm coming back out.

This menopause thing? It really really really is not fun.